Deepening Family Bonds

The first family was Adam and Eve. After they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden, they had to work. Regardless of one's religious beliefs, we can all commiserate going from the lap of luxury to grueling work. While the work was hard, it established a pattern that lasted generations of families working together to survive. Slowly, things began to change. Families moved to cities. Fathers started working away from home. Machines replaced some of the manual labor in the home. Families stopped working together to survive. 

Working together is one of the best ways to bring your family together. It forces family members to cooperate despite differences. It forces family members to act in love -- to either clean up after themselves or to help the family in some way. Even the most ordinary family tasks can bring a family together.

The repetition of cleaning and eating provides space for families to talk, laugh, sing, quarrel, and otherwise build their family identity. When we work together, we are reminded of our dependence on others who have done work for us -- who feed us, who clean for us, who sacrifice for us. It builds humility and love for each family member. 

As nice as these ideas are, we can't expect Dad to quit his job so we can move to the country and farm. Rather, we have to adjust these principles to our modern era. There are a few different ways we can improve our family bonds: 1) Doing plain ol' yard work together. There is something about planting, growing, and guiding plants that provide opportunities for discussion about life's mysteries. 2) Demonstrate the attitude you would like other family members to have. 

3) Never let technology get in the way of family time. 4) Encourage children to help with chores so they can learn to care for others as well as their selves. 5) Avoid having a business mentality at home -- i.e. perfection, no fun or spontaneity, etc. 6) Work side by side with your kids. All of these are easy ways to deepen your family bonds. 

One thing that frequently gets in the way of family bonds is finances. 75-90% of all divorces can be traced to arguments over money. More important than how much the family earns is how well they manage what they earn -- together as a couple, and as is reasonable, together as a family. So how does a family effectively manage their money? Here is a list of suggestions from Marvin J. Ashton about how to manage money:

1) Live within your means. 2) Learn self-discipline and self-restraint in money matters. 3) Use a budget. 4) Teach family members the importance of work and earning. 5) Teach family members to make money decisions as appropriate. 6) Teach each family member to contribute to the total family welfare. 7) Make education a continuing process. 8) Work toward home ownership. 9) Appropriately involve yourself in an insurance program. 10) Understand the influence of external forces on family finances. 11) Appropriately involve yourself in food storage and emergency preparedness. 

Managing finances as a family keeps a family together. Working together keeps families together. We can never underestimate the importance of good old, regular chores.