Perpetuating Family Culture

Culture can be defined as "all the ways of life...of a population that are passed down from generation to generation." Culture is typically looked at within different communities or nations, but it can also be looked at in terms of individual families. Each individual family creates and maintains a culture that comes from its socioeconomic status, ethnic background, and family dynamics. 

While socioeconomic status, ethnicity, and family dynamics are a result of family culture, they can also influence family culture.

For example, in a documentary called, "People Like Us," a woman named Tammy was interviewed and observed. Tammy was a single mom with two kids. She lived in a trailer home and worked at Burger King to support her family. Her car no longer worked. Her oldest son wanted to escape their socioeconomic class by going to college. Her other son was lazy but wanted to follow in his brothers footsteps. 

Ten years later, the filmmakers for "People Like Us" returned for an update on Tammy and her family. Tammy was still working at Burger King and walking to work every day. Her oldest son got his girlfriend pregnant and dropped out of high school to take care of her. Her second son eventually lost his job to drugs. None of them were able to escape their socioeconomic status because of the culture Tammy had perpetuated. When she was their age, she dropped out of school because she got pregnant. She worked at a low-income job and raised her kids by herself. 

As crazy as it sounds, the key to getting herself out of poverty and taking better care of her kids would have been to have a husband or father in the home. In this instance, Tammy's socioeconomic status influenced her family culture. Interestingly enough, lack of money (or a plethora) is rarely the central issue of an unhealthy family. It is the unhealthy family dynamics that are created from having too little (or too much) money that are the heart of the issue -- as Tammy exemplifies. And those issues can be addressed without taking away or adding to a family's income.

As amazing as single moms are, certain family dynamics are inevitably created because there is no husband or father in the home. It becomes mom versus the kids. Mom doesn't have the time to teach her children or ensure they are making good choices. With a husband and a father for those kids, the chances of reaching and teaching those kids would be doubled. Dad becomes another person for the kids to look up to, and he encourages them to respect his partner (and vice versa) every time that he respects her. Both parents have more time to themselves, their family, and their responsibilities when they have each other to rely on. 

But a person's socioeconomic status and ethnic background don't have to be the only factors controlling their family culture. The first step to changing or improving your family's culture is to be aware of the family culture you currently have. The second step is to identify what culture you want to create. And finally, the third step is to implement it by changing your family dynamics.

There are a variety of ways to implement a new family culture through family dynamics. Maybe it starts with saying, "I love you" more often. Maybe it's holding your tongue when you're angry instead of lashing out without thought. Maybe it's being more intentional about what media you allow to influence your family. Maybe it's being the person to bring your family together and make everyone feel comfortable. Whatever needs to be done to change your family culture, you can be the one to change it. 

What traditions do you want to integrate into your family culture?